So The train pulled into a drizzly, overcast  Amsterdam sometime around 11, the one just before lunchtime. After putting my bike back together, and getting rightly covered in grease I headed towards the center of the city. The roads gradually got smaller, people started looking well of and trendy as fuck, everywhere started to smell lovely, and there was almost as many canals as there was picturesque streets. Well Amsterdam, ya look nice.

After cycling around for a bit, eyes fixed on everything but the road, I ended up at what seemed to be an important canal, I had a look around me, and there was two coffee shops, The Doors and The Bulldog. The doors was always gonna win, since I’m a fan, but I was pleasantly surprised when I asked the fella if I could borrow a grinder, he gave me a nice big aluminium one with a bulldog on the top, and said, do me a favour and don’t bring it back, its from next door. Well Amsterdam, your sound as well. I sat down outside, rolled a joint and light it, Upon ignition, who decides to show their face? Howya now Sun? This put a real big smile on my face, and made everything look class. As if it needed any help. I robbed some wi fi from The Bulldog, and soon found out that all the cheap hostels were booked up. So slightly concerned, but more so excited, maybe, I decided that the best plan of action was to put my bag into a locker in the station, and just see what happens, bop around for the night, explore, go clubbing something along those lines yano? Bag locked, I thought I’d just have a cycle around the place to gather my bearings, well jaysus fuck that didn’t work. I ended up cycling around the place for the good part of three hours with no idea where I was, minus  bearings, but perfectly content. The sun was out, I had a new city to explore, the first smoke and cycle without a heavy rucksack since Berlin. Happy days.

Cycling in Amsterdam is serious craic, I heard an interesting statistic there a while ago, there are 700,000 people in Amsterdam, and a million bikes. I’m not sure how accurate this is, but there is certainly more bikes than people, and only a few cars thrown in for the laugh. A bike is definitely a great way to see a city, but here, its the only way to fully grasp the city. Everyone cycles, nobody wears helmets, and it all runs real smooth. The cars that are around, are much more aware of cyclists, and a as a result, will let you go, will respect your space, and probably won’t run over you. The trams will however, I learnt this the hard way, I was waiting for a tram to go by,and my front wheel was apparently a bit too far forward. The tram bashed into the front wheel, which bashed to bike into my legs, small bruises, no damage to the bike, grand. Its a wonder that more people don’t get mashed up on bikes in Amsterdam, since theres no shortage of people, (and I include myself in this bracket), cruising around in a hazy stony day dream, admiring the canals, the flowers, or just people watching, In their own little world. The only other traffic incident I had, was clipping a car mirror as I zipped in between the lanes, I knew them bastard handle bars were too long, another inch off both sides so. One thing which pissed me off about Amsterdam, was the sheer amount of cannabis leafs printed on everything and anything. I mean, look lads, I like joints too, but it doesn't mean I want everything I own to be covered in badly drawn, shitty tone of green leafs. And the T-shirts? christ they’re awful, come back to me with some nice clothes, or a suit, a nice suite, throw a few leaves on it, and we'll take it from there, but i’m not gonna buy something thats made in such a way that it can never look good, just because its plastered in the plant thats gonna save the planet and make us all better people, which It wont. There are certain streets in Amsterdam, where pretty much every second shop is playing the same shitty trance, with the same bongs, papers, cookies, lollipops, and anything tacky and cannabis related you think of flashing in the window. I understand that the tourism from this industry is huge, but jesus fuck, we get it, its legal, and thats great, but surely this is where capitalism ensures we don't have thirty of the same shop on the one street. Supply and demand me arse, there is no demand for this many head shops, most of the shops were empty when i was there, and it was pretty busy on the street. So Amsterdam, can I just smoke a joint  in peace, without having Canna this that and the other shoved in my face? Please and thank you. After a days exploring, and much food, i decided I’d go out to the bus station where the bus for paris leaves from, to see what the story was. A little bit out of town, and the first thing i noticed was the sheer amount of rabbits, shit loads of them, I even saw a black one, which is odd for wild ones, oh how multi cultural. So at the station, i found out that all the busses to paris where full, for that day and the next, and there wasn’t another one till 11 at night, the day after the next, ohh Well. Next to the station though, there was a big ass hostel, and since it was raining, and didn't really fancy boppin around for the night in the rain, I popped in to see if they had any rooms left, they did, wasn't cheap let me tell ya, but anyhow. With the luxury of a bed to come back to, i ventured off to explore the city by night. Yeh, the red light district is really weird, not sure if its the young wans violently knocking on the windows trying to get you to come in, all the mank looking fellas out shopping, or the hoods up dodgy looking lads in the shadows. It's all very strange, sad and exciting at the same time, its hard to know what to make of the whole thing. The red lights are lovely on the water though.

I probably spent most of my remaining money on food, now I may have been predisposed to eating anything, everything and lots of it with the munchies, but i could not stop eating, until i ran out of money.

Sushi and falafels, were both repeat offenders, with the novelty of a falafel place where you get the falafels in a box, then help yourself to the class salad bar being particularly alluring. Now as brilliant an idea as this is, one thing i should have asked, was which salsa was the hottest. I put loads of all of them on, thinking ah sure i love spicy food, poor call. I ploughed through most of it, but i couldn't finish it, so not being one to throw away food, I put it on the back rack of the bike. Nearly back to the hostel, bombing it down a hill with my rucksack i picked up from the station on my back, the box flew open, I turned around and closed it, when i turned back around though, i was headed for a big curb, very fast. I hit the curb, and somehow managed not fall over, the falafel however was long gone, and the back wheel was blown, and had sustained another little dent no doubt. All because my Falafel was too spicy, don't say i didn't warn you kids. I had great plans on going to all the museums for my last day, but of course, as happens in Amsterdam, didn't quite get there. I made it to two, which were class. The Stedelijk, or the modern art museum caught my eye, since the building itself is amazing, and there wasn't enormous queues like the Van Gogh or the Rijksmuseum.

Quick jimy wifter, and i was ready to go art watching. Floating around a lovely big white space with nice pictures on the wall, and weird but wonderful sculptures around the place, happy as a pig in shit.

There was however, one painting by Robert Mata, that was a bit violent for my liking, lots of pointy and angry things.

I turned to my right, and there was a lovely picture a woman with a fish on her head.

Ahhh much better, sound Pablo. The other museum was the Foam photography museum, which had some really interesting stuff, and some tunes playing fairly loud, which was nice to boogie to.  Then I ran of money, and had to spend my last 3 quid on rice cakes and peanuts to get me to Paris. Well Amsterdam, your really weird, really pretty, you taste great, you’ve got some really nice boats, and your suburbs are very clean and well kept. I’ll be back X